After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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