He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
