the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
