Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
