Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
