I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
