come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
