You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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