Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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