I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
nutella sex= disaster
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
