When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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