If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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