I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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