Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
