Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
