Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
