You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
