ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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