Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
