just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
