I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
