sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
