I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
