oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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