One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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