I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
