Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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