This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
