Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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