did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
