Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
