ugly people sure do ruin things
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So many bounce houses so little time
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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