Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
