and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
