just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
