Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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