The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
