I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
