i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
