let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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