I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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