butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
