Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
