I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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