First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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