i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
