it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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