Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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