Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
