I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
