Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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