dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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