yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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