all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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