I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
