Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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