gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
