Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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